Gateway to Heaven and Hell

Once upon a time in England there was a wise man named “John”. He was a very kind person and lived in a village very close to the woods. He loved his family very much and cared a lot for them. Mr. John was a blessed person right from his childhood days. He was a good interpreter of the Bible. People came to him to clear their doubts. He was considered as a scholar and was loved by everyone in that village. Mr. John had the habit of praying in the morning, afternoon and evening for at least half-an-hour. There was not even a single day that would pass without John offering his prayers. He was a very punctual person.

That time, there lived a king named Louis in the neighbourhood of his village. King Louis had a very handsome young son named James. Prince James was the next heir to the throne.

One day, King Louis called his son and said “My dear son, I am growing old and weak day by day. I think it’s time for me to hand you over some major responsibilities of our kingdom”.

The Prince replied “My father, when shall I do that”.

The king said “Before you start with your responsibilities here, I would like you to move out of the palace and return to me after finding an answer to a question”.

The Prince asked his father “Father tell me the question for which I need to find an answer”.

King Louis said “Son, you need to tell me where heaven and hell is. This is the question”.

Prince James after seeking the blessings of the King and Queen, took his bag and left the palace in search of the answer. The Prince travelled across villages, woods and towns but no one could help him find an answer.

On the fourth day after leaving the palace Prince James reached the village where John the wise man lived. Prince James asked some of the villagers the question about heaven and hell but no one could help him out. One villager told the Prince “You noble man, I think John the wise man could help you find an answer”.

Prince James was guided to the house where John the wise man lived. As he was about to step into the house of Mr. John, Prince James saw a man kneeling before the crucifix with a bowed head and arms-wide-stretched.

Interrupting Mr. John’s prayers, the Prince asked “Excuse me wise man, I have come a long way off to find an answer to where heaven and hell is. I wish you to tell me the answer quickly”.

John, the wise man was still on his knees and never uttered a word. Prince James repeatedly asked Mr. John but he remained calm in his prayers. The Prince became furious and pulled his sword off the sheath and started screaming at the top of his voice “Hey you layman, don’t you know who I am. Open your eyes and answer me or else know that I have the power to kill you”.

John’s prayers were almost finished by then. He opened his eyes and got up. John saw the Prince waving his sword towards him with eyes burning with anger. With a gentle smile, John said “My dear brother, hell is where you find anger, impatience, sorrow, hatred and pride”.

Prince James was intelligent enough to understand what John meant by saying that. The Prince went down on his knees. His head was almost drooping and eyes swollen. Prince James said “Sir, forgive me for my wickedness. I understand what you mean”.

John came closer to the Prince. He patted the strong shoulders of the Prince and said “My dear brother, heaven is where you find forgiveness, kindness, peace, love and patience”.

John reminded the Prince the words Jesus had said “The kingdom of heaven is within you”.

Now the Prince had an answer to the question that had bothered him for some days. He thanked John the wise man with an apologetic tone and returned to the palace.

The king was very happy to hear the answer from his son. The next day saw the celebrations marking the coronation of Prince James as the next heir to the throne. Prince James ruled the Kingdom for over 30 years and was loved by all people inside and outside his kingdom.

By: John for www.whereincity.com

Best Joke ever

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said “I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.

She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked “Well,devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says “Five million dollars” ….

She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, “My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too.”

He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked “Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says “Ten million dollars.” With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, “I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliament”….. He called.

Pakistan and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked “Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says “Twenty dollars”.
Musharraf is stunned & says “Twenty dollars??? Only ??” What may be the reply from devil….

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The devil says “Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it’s local”

By: Rebecca, for http://www.19.5degs.com

Management Decision

One day PVNR (P V Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an auto rickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died on the spot.

Yamraj was waiting for this moment at the doorsteps of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yamraj had already decided that he should be sent to the HELL.

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yamraj as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? It’s famous on the earth.

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is finally made; and should not be just assessed on opinion or pre conceived notions. Yamraj joyfully agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

PVNR is asked to spell “INDIA” and he does it correctly. Advani is asked to spell “ENGLAND” and he too passes. It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell “CZECHOSLOVAKIA”.

Laloo protests that he doesn’t know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent. Yamraj then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. He writes it easily and passes. Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN”. He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR…..” Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy & annoyed. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren’t), he now requested for all the three to be subjected to a test in history.Yamraj says OKAY! but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests thereafter.

PVNR is asked: “When did India get Independence? ” He replied “1947” and passed.
Advani is asked “How many people died during the independence struggle?” He gets nervous. Yamraj asked him to choose from 3 options: 1,00,000 or 2,00,000 or 3,00,000. Advani catches it & says 200,000 and passes.

It’s Laloo’s turn now. Yamraj asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 2,00,000 who died in the freedom struggle of India. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral:
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE, THERE IS NO ESCAPE WHAT SO EVER…

The Gates of Paradise

A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, and asked: “Is there really a paradise and a hell?”

“Who are you?” inquired Hakuin.

“I am a samurai,” the warrior replied.

“You, a soldier!” exclaimed Hakuin. “What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar.”

Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: “So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head.”

As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: “Here open the gates of hell!”

At these words the samurai, perceiving the master’s discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.

“Here open the gates of paradise,” said Hakuin.