The Father and his two Daughters

A Man had two daughters, the one married to a gardener, and the other to a tile-maker.

After a time he went to the daughter who had married the gardener, and inquired how she was and how all things went with her.

She said, “All things are prospering with me, and I have only one wish, that there may be a heavy fall of rain, in order that the plants may be well watered.”

Not long after, he went to the daughter who had married the tilemaker, and likewise inquired of her how she fared; she replied, “I want for nothing, and have only one wish, that the dry weather may continue, and the sun shine hot and bright, so that the bricks might be dried.”

He said to her, “If your sister wishes for rain, and you for dry weather, with which of the two am I to join my wishes?”

Moral:
You can’t please everybody.

The Farmer and his Sons

A Father, being on the point of death, wished to be sure that his sons would give the same attention to his farm as he himself had given it.

He called them to his bedside and said, “My sons, there is a great treasure hid in one of my vineyards.”

The sons, after his death, took their spades and mattocks and carefully dug over every portion of their land.

They found no treasure, but the vines repaid their labour by an extraordinary and
superabundant crop.

Moral:
Industry sometimes pays unexpected dividends.

The Eagle and the Arrow: 2

An Eagle was soaring through the air when suddenly it heard the whizz of an Arrow, and felt itself wounded to death. Slowly it fluttered down to the earth, with its life-blood pouring out of it. Looking down upon the Arrow with which it had been pierced, it found that the shaft of the Arrow had been feathered with one of its own plumes. “Alas!” it cried, as it died,

Moral:
We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.

The Eagle and the Arrow: 1

An Eagle sat on a lofty rock, watching the movements of a Hare whom he sought to make his prey.

An archer, who saw the Eagle from a place of concealment, took an accurate aim and wounded him mortally. The Eagle gave one look at the arrow that had entered his heart and saw in that single glance that its feathers had been furnished by himself.

“It is a double grief to me,” he exclaimed, “that I should perish by an arrow feathered from my own wings.”

Moral:
How often do we supply our enemies with the means of our own destruction.

The President and Mrs…

The President Clinton and Mrs. Clinton were in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them was taken up with Secret Service agents. One of them leaned over and whispered in the President’s ear. Mr. Clinton paused, then grabbed Hillary by the scruff of the neck and heaved her over the railing. She fell 10 feet to the top of the dugout, screaming obscenities.

The President shook the hands of those near him and got high fives all around.

The Secret Service agent leaned over again and whispered, “Mr. President, I said it’s time to throw out the first pitch.”

By: Spyderman, for http://www.19.5degs.com

Best Joke ever

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said “I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.

She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked “Well,devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says “Five million dollars” ….

She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, “My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too.”

He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked “Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says “Ten million dollars.” With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, “I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliament”….. He called.

Pakistan and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked “Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says “Twenty dollars”.
Musharraf is stunned & says “Twenty dollars??? Only ??” What may be the reply from devil….

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The devil says “Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it’s local”

By: Rebecca, for http://www.19.5degs.com